We are monkeys. We like to chatter. Chattering doesn't cost us anything.

When you read, I'm sure you don't realize that your eyes are going backwards and forwards and to this place and that place. Mine don't do that.

No. Men should die for lies. But the truth is too precious to die for.

Experience has taught me that you feel better on a flight if you avoid chicken fat in plastic sauce.

Lord Vetinari lifted an eyebrow with the care of one who, having found a piece of caterpillar in his salad, raises the rest of the lettuce.

And the people next door oppress me all night long. I tell them, I work all day, a man's got to have some time to learn to play the tuba. That's oppression, that is. If I'm not under the heel of the oppressor, I don't know who is.

Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.