Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives.

Everything makes sense a bit at a time. But when you try to think of it all at once, it comes out wrong.

Many an ancient lord's last words have been, 'You can't kill me because I've got magic aaargh.'

What your soldier wants - really, really wants - is no-one shooting back at him.

Progress just means bad things happen faster.

Christ managed to boil down an awful lot of commandments to a few very simple rules for living. It's when you go backwards through the 'begats' and the Garden of Eden, and you start thinking, 'Hang on, that's a big punishment for eating one lousy apple... There's a human-rights issue.'

Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out.