Some people believe that when you die, you cross the River of Death and have to pay the ferryman. People don’t seem to worry about that these days. Perhaps there’s a bridge now.

As far as Death was aware, the sole reason for any human association with pigs and lambs was as a prelude to chops and sausages. Quite why they should dress up for children’s wallpaper as well was a mystery. Hello, little folk, this is what you’re going to eat… He felt that if only he could find the key to it, he’d know a lot more about human beings.

All the higher life forms scythed away, just like that. [ . . . ] Nothing but dust and fundamentalists.

He'd heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true.

Aliens don't get stuck in air ducts. It's practically a well-known fact.

When much is taken, something is returned.

They suffered from the terrible delusion that something could be done. They seemed prepared to make the world the way they wanted it or die in the attempt, and the trouble with dying in the attempt was that you died in the attempt.