No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Which, no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].

Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things.

I think it's IMPOSSIBLE for anyone famous to come from here, because everyone around here is insane.

Shoes, men, coffins; never accept the first one you see.

The enemy isn’t men, or women, it’s bloody stupid people and no-one has the right to be stupid.

But you ain't part of it, are you?" said Granny conversationally. "You try, but you always find yourself watchin' yourself watchin' people, eh? Never quite believin' anything? Thinkin' the wrong thoughts?

You just put that sword away, sir, please," said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes. "You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder," said the captain calmly. "Not where I'm aiming, sir.