It is a mistake trying to cheer up camels. You may as well drop meringues into a black hole.

I've lost both parents in the last two years, so you pick up on that stuff. That's the most terrible thing about being an author - standing there at your mother's funeral, but you don't switch the author off. So your own innermost thoughts are grist for the mill.

Dogs are not like cats, who amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw. Men made dogs, they took wolves and gave them human things - unnecessary intelligence, names, a desire to belong, and a twitching inferiority complex. All dogs dream wolf dreams, and know they're dreaming of biting their Maker. Every dog knows, deep in his heart, that he is a Bad Dog.

I'm not cruel, sir, I won't shoot you in the guts, but I will make you realize how much you took your toes for granted.

Raise the stakes! Always push your luck because no one else would push it for you.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease.

'Don't think of it as dying,' said Death. 'Just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.'