They looked at one another in incomprehension, two minds driving opposite ways up a narrow street and waiting for the other man to reverse first.

The man gave a shrug which indicated that, although the world did indeed have many problems, this was one of them that was not his.

A good plan isn't one where someone wins, it's where nobody thinks they've lost.

Some people are heroes. And some people jot down notes.

No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Which, no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].

It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad

Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture.