Monsters are getting more uppity, too (...) I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up over the door (...) and you know what? Its mum come and complained. Its actual mum come right down to the hall next day and complained. Actually complained. That's the respect you get.

Child. That was a terrible thing to say to anyone who was almost thirteen.

They say that there can never be two snowflakes that are exactly alike, but has anyone checked lately?

The Auditors fluttered anxiously. And, as always happens in their species when something goes radically wrong and needs fixing instantly, they settled down to try to work how who was to blame.

I have to write because if I don't get something down then after a while I feel it's going to bang the side of my head off.

If you had enough money, you could hardly commit crimes at all. You just perpetrated amusing little peccadilloes.

Haven't you got any romance in your soul?" said Magrat plaintively. "No," said Granny. "I ain't. And stars don't care what you wish, and magic don't make things better, and no one doesn't get burned who sticks their hand in a fire. If you want to amount to anything as a witch, Magrat Garlick, you got to learn three things. What's real, what's not real, and what's the difference.