Monsters are getting more uppity, too (...) I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up over the door (...) and you know what? Its mum come and complained. Its actual mum come right down to the hall next day and complained. Actually complained. That's the respect you get.

Lessee...he'd gone off after the funeral and gotten drunk. No, not drunk, another word, ended with "er." Drunker. that was it.

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.

No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world more perfect.

If there's one thing that really annoys a god, it's not knowing something.

Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.

The brain works fast when it thinks it’s about to be cut in half.