The Tezuman priests have a sophisticated calendar and an advanced horology," quoted Rincewind. "Ah," said Eric, "Good." "No," said Rincewind patiently. "It means time measurement." "Oh.

Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.

He stared at his feet. “I’m still very ignorant,” he said, “but at least I’m ignorant about really important things.

A world like that, which exists only because the gods enjoy a joke, must be a place where magic can survive. And sex too, of course.

I can't be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree I'd be mad, and I'm not mad, so trees can't talk.

They may have been ugly. They may have been evil. But when it came to poetry in motion, the Things had all the grace and coordination of a deck-chair.

There is always time for another last minute