Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can.

Well, the news has got around. The Duchess of Keepsake has invited us to a ball, Sir Henry and Lady Withering have invited us to a ball, and Lord and Lady Hangfinger have invited us to... yes, a ball." "Well, that's a lot of..." "Don't you dare, Sam.

I know it's a very human thing to say 'Is there anything I can do', but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry.

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough.

Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg!

Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.