The truth is a fog, in which one man sees the heavenly host and the other one sees a flying elephant.

The more you think about it, the more amazing the everyday world of human beings becomes: most of it doesn't actually exist at all.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you ever find anything I wouldn't do.

This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.

I don't want to hurt you, Mistress Weatherwax," said Mrs Gogol. "That's good," said Granny. "I don't want you to hurt me either.

He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe. Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one.

Never cross a woman with a star on a stick, young lady. They've got a mean streak.