The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap and much more difficult to find.

Voodoo is a very interesting religion for the whole family, even those members of it who are dead.

And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.

People are content to wait a long time for salvation, but prefer dinner to turn up inside an hour.

Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine - once. Like the Borg, they learn.

Sometimes words need music too. Sometimes the descriptions are not enough. Books should be written with soundtracks, like films.

I [...] vowed that rather than let Alzheimer's take me, I would take it. I would live my life as ever to the full and die, ­before the disease mounted its last ­attack, in my own home, in a chair on the lawn, with a brandy in my hand to wash down whatever modern ­version of the "Brompton cocktail" some ­helpful medic could supply. And with ­Thomas Tallis on my iPod, I would shake hands with Death.