It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.

Theres no stink more sorrorful than the stink of wet, burnt paper. It means: the end.

He never pays attention, he always knows the answer, and he can never tell you how he knows. We can't keep thrashing him. He is a bad example to the other pupils. There's no educating a smart boy.

If you were going to be successful in the world of crime, you needed a reputation for honesty.

It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes. This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers

Truthfully, without over-egging it, as I often do, the library and journalism, those things made me who I am.

What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.