Rincewind tried to force the memory out of his mind, but it was rather enjoying itself there, terrorizing the other occupants and kicking over the furniture.

The trouble with life was that you didn’t get a chance to practice before doing it for real.

People are content to wait a long time for salvation, but prefer dinner to turn up inside an hour.

Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.

I was merely endeavoring to indicate that if we do not grab events by the collar they will have us by the throat. -Lord Vetinari

Rings try to find their way back to their owner. Someone ought to write a book about it.

Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.