THERE'S NO JUSTICE, said Mort. JUST US.

Journalism makes you think fast. You have to speak to people in all walks of life. Especially local journalism.

Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.

Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.

He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe. Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one.

Inside every sane person there's a madman struggling to get out," said the shopkeeper. "That's what I've always thought. No one goes mad quicker than a totally sane person.

Oh dear me, the Booker people don't like me. I don't care. I have been given an award for being taken not seriously, and I am very, very pleased about that.