One of the premises of parenting might be that the job of parents is to teach their kids to get along without them.

Spending time with the child or adolescent in mutually enjoyable activities on a regular basis will help to build warmth and trust.

Parents should be able to develop goals about the type of parents they want to be.

The best way for parents to go about acquiring a mind-set of self-reflective parenting will be different for different individuals. Some people will find that they are already very close to being the parent they are striving to be. Other people will find reading books or blog articles to be very helpful and some other people might benefit most by engaging in discussions on the internet.

Parents typically don't talk to each other about their goals and attitudes to parenting but this type of conversation could be very useful for helping parents become clearer about the things that are important to them.

I consider parenting skills, those skills that help children: (1) develop clear and important goals; and (2) figure out flexible and persistent ways of achieving their goals.

Accessing a "professional listener" such as a psychologist or counselor can be useful if the loved one wants to use this form of support.