When a child or adolescent is troubled, the most important thing for the parent to focus on may very well be their relationship with their child or adolescent. Parents need to do whatever they can to make sure the relationship is strong.

Parents should be able to develop goals about the type of parents they want to be.

Prioritizing listening to their child or adolescent is extremely important. It can be very hard to listen to someone who is upset or troubled without offering advice or suggestions or otherwise telling him or her what to do.

People need to feel safe to talk without their ideas being criticized, judged, demeaned, or mocked.

Spending time with the child or adolescent in mutually enjoyable activities on a regular basis will help to build warmth and trust.

Somewhat paradoxically, parenting programs should focus on the behavior of the parents not the behavior of the children.

I consider parenting skills, those skills that help children: (1) develop clear and important goals; and (2) figure out flexible and persistent ways of achieving their goals.