When a child or adolescent is troubled, the most important thing for the parent to focus on may very well be their relationship with their child or adolescent. Parents need to do whatever they can to make sure the relationship is strong.

People need to feel safe to talk without their ideas being criticized, judged, demeaned, or mocked.

I always thought if you really want to be a good actor, you've got to be able to fart in public. That, to me, is the most important. If you are so inhibited that you can't fart, I don't mean around your friends, I mean just a fart, out loud somewhere. I don't mean the 'silent creeper', everybody does that. I mean fart out loud! Just that you can do it and not be afraid of it. Humility is very important.

Demonstrating faith and optimism in the child or adolescent's ability to work things out in their own time and in their own way can be very difficult but it is possible to do this while also offering assistance.

Parents should be able to develop goals about the type of parents they want to be.

A parenting program should provide time for parents to clarify their own ideas about what it means to be an effective and successful parent.

Once parents have a clear idea of their important parenting goals, beliefs, and values, they can then think about specific situations and identify the outcomes they would like to achieve in these situations. How can you be the parent you want to be whether or not your children are behaving as you would prefer?