When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.

The ladies of comedy now are comfortable dressing up. It's not forbidden anymore.

My problem with the traditional acting method was that I never understood what you were supposed to be thinking about when you're onstage.

It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.

In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history's worst decisions [...].

Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.

Luxury cruises were designed to make something unbearable (a two week transatlantic crossing) seem bearable. There's no need to do it now, there are planes. You wouldn't take a vacation where you ride on a stage coach for two months but there's all-you-can-eat shrimp. You wouldn't take a vacation where you had an old-timey appendectomy without anesthesia while steel drums play. You might take a vacation while riding on a camel for two days IF they gave you those little animal towels wearing your sunglasses.