Pentagon records show that at least 8,000 members of the all-volunteer U.S. Army have deserted since the Iraq war began. Hey, at least somebody has an exit strategy.

In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history's worst decisions [...].

If you're an actor and you don't get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities.

My problem with the traditional acting method was that I never understood what you were supposed to be thinking about when you're onstage.

When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn't think anyone would notice, but I persevered because - like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle - it was a labour of love.

The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling.

Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.