There's a Drunk Midget in My House Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. Like most people who have had one baby, I am an expert on everythiing and will tell you, unsolicited, how to raise your kid!

I felt like that character in Flowers for Algernon. Not Charlie, the lady teacher from the college who realizes, 'I've got to stop dry-humping this mentally challenged guy!

My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don't take myself too seriously.

Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?

Many of the world's greatest discoveries have been by accident. I mean, look at the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or Botox.

In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone "come out" to you is the "pretending to be surprised" part.

In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.