The moment I'm perceived to be even a tiny bit successful, my career will go down the pan.

I've never been to a shrink. But my parents were very psychologically literate - my father had undergone Freudian analysis - and we often talked about other people in psychological terms, so I picked up a lot of that.

Everyone said to me growing up, "You're like an American. You have to go to America. That's your spiritual home."

I wouldn't describe myself as a master of anything.

I miss being fawned over by restaurateurs and chefs.

Oddly, I do have a problem with authority. I find it very difficult to knuckle down and follow rules. Which are the classic symptoms of someone who has a troubled relationship with their father. And yet, I never had a problem with my father.

I really like the Observer. I think I'd love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to do some proper reporting, but keep it on sort of a humorous level. I've always had a very happy experience writing for them.