I think writers tend to hear a different message from the ones our friends and acquaintances intend. We see what's revealed, which makes us dangerous.
Tom BarbashI think the second, or outsider's, perspective can come as you layer a story. It's as though you've grabbed a secondary character and asked them, "What do you make of this guy?" and the hope is that the answer surprises you as the writer.
Tom BarbashI tend to listen to my friends and family empathetically, and I try to help work through their problems from the inside. I try to adopt their thinking.
Tom Barbash