It's hard to have any moral authority over a group of drunken college students when you have never had a beer and never been laid.

If prosecutors in the state of Utah continue on the path they are on in seeking us out, I hate to tell you what might happen. To put it bluntly - the mountains could come down upon them. I think they are going to get shook up. I think we are in store for a lot of things if we don't reprent and return to the way of God.

I've always got a whole bunch of things in the works. That's sort of the nature of the business. Even when you're doing something you love doing, you have to be plotting and scheming and writing and preparing for what you're going to do when that's finished.

Everyone knows that senior citizens are stupid

We all borrow and steal and copy from each other, and that's the way I think people get inspired.

Whenever I do something I tend to focus on it and spend all of my time and energy on it.

I don't really like to just sit down at a computer and write because that tends to be a little forced. Sometimes the funniest ideas just happen in the moment, when you're talking to people, or you notice something.