Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.

Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.