You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? It'd go like this: You'd get the boss on the line and say, "Listen, I've been sick ever since I started working here, but today I'm well and I won't be in anymore." Call in well.

In the beginning was the thing. And one thing led to another.

John Irving once told me he doesn't start a novel until he knows the last sentence. I said, 'My God, Irving, isn't that like working in a factory?'

Consider the silent repose of the sausage as compared to the aggressiveness of bacon.

Just because you're naked doesn't mean you're sexy. Just because you're cynical doesn't mean you're cool.

As expected, you get his machine. Someday, even the "call of nature" will be answered by a machine.

But the center can be a harmful place for one who has lived so long on the edge.... Normality is the Great Neurosis of civilization.