I write plays because writing dialogue is the only respectable way of contradicting yourself. I put a position, rebut it, refute the rebuttal, and rebut the refutation.

Sometimes directors feel a script needs something, but they're not sure what it is, so they show it to a friend; if the friend is a writer, he ends up kicking around with that script for a while.

Carnal embrace is the practice of throwing one's arms around a side of beef.

GUIL: A scientific approach to the examination of phenomena is a defence against the pure emotion of fear

I smoke too much whether it's going well or badly. After all these years, I definitely associate having a pen in my hand with having an ashtray just out of eye line.

The colours red, blue and green are real. The colour yellow is a mystical experience shared by everybody.

Personally I am in favour of education but a university is not the place for it.