Oh I don't mind going to weddings, just as long as it's not my own.

The average person spends two weeks over their lifetime waiting for the traffic light to change.

Folks who work here are professors. Don't replace all the knowers with guessors keep'em open they're the ears of the town

I walked 500 miles just to see a halo, when I opened my eyes I was blind as can be.

Got 27 children I never see.

It's hard to play with a bagpipe player. It's like an exotic bird. I love the sound, it's like strangling a goose.

Most songs that aren't jump-rope songs, or lullabies, are cautionary tales or goodbye songs and road songs.