I may be drunk but at least I'm not insane.

Q: What’s hard for you? A: Mostly I straddle reality and the imagination. My reality needs imagination like a bulb needs a socket. My imagination needs reality like a blind man needs a cane. Math is hard. Reading a map. Following orders. Carpentry. Electronics. Plumbing. Remembering things correctly. Straight lines. Sheet rock. Finding a safety pin. Patience with others. Ordering in Chinese. Stereo instructions in German.

My reality needs imagination like a bulb needs a socket. My imagination needs reality like a blind man needs a cane.

Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or if you're telling them a lie, as long as they're entertained by it.

We are all just monkeys with money and guns.

I’ve always believed that the way you affect your audience is more important than how many of them are there.

Got a head full of lightning, a hat full of rain.