When Mexicans sneak across the border, they're more apt to carry a bag of pot then they are a fistful of money. Because the pot can be exchanged for money, anywhere in America. Anywhere in the world!

Musicians can travel all over the world and have an audience, because there's no language barrier.

Jail was probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.

Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya.

There's the exciting part about comedy - if you catch an act just before they go mainstream, that's the best. After they hit the mainstream, everything gets watered down a little bit.

You look at Cheney, Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, and Bush - if you saw them on Halloween, they wouldn't need a costume. You'd give them a treat and compliment them on what great-looking demons they were. They are demons. There's no doubt about it.

We survived Nixon and Reagan and George Bush, and so we can survive anything that comes along.