Something good always happens at 4:20 for me.

People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go, 'Oh, that's Charlie Chaplin.' You know what I mean? You can't own a joke. You can be the guy that tells it the best, but you can't own a joke. Nowhere can you own a laugh.

It's like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in such a way that the funny jokes become funnier.

Comedy is the ultimate truth. Jazz is hitting the notes that that no one else would hit, and comedy is saying words that no one else would say.

Jail was probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.

I never actually smoked with any of the presidents.

Now the [smartphone] has freed everybody, and so everybody gets better. No matter what you say, people will check you out on their phone.