I've been visiting Thailand for more than 20 years but didn't fall in love with it until I visited Phuket Town in Phuket. The northern part of Phuket is one of the most fascinating places I've ever been, and largely unspoilt and unknown.

I feel like the only person in the world who sees David Beckham modelling his swimming pants on the cover of Elle magazine and thinks - oh, how much better a handsome guy like you would look, David, without all those dumb ink stains stitched into your skin.

Tattoos are so widespread, so ugly and so very, very permanent. You can, in theory, have them removed - but a large chunk of your living flesh will go with it.

The most convincing argument against early parenthood is that you are in a relationship that is likely to fall apart before that child grows up.

The tattooed nation will live to regret this voluntary disfigurement.

It can't always be a honeymoon

Learn to trust your instincts. Only something dead goes with the tide. Only something living can go against it.