The British - who rarely start a fight, but always know how to finish it - have nothing to be ashamed of.

My parents have been dead for many years, and when your folks are gone there is nobody standing between you and eternity.

You have to give kids from ordinary families a ladder. You have to show them there's a way out.

I feel like the only person in the world who sees David Beckham modelling his swimming pants on the cover of Elle magazine and thinks - oh, how much better a handsome guy like you would look, David, without all those dumb ink stains stitched into your skin.

I don't think much of anything I wrote before the age of 30.

Tattoos are so widespread, so ugly and so very, very permanent. You can, in theory, have them removed - but a large chunk of your living flesh will go with it.

A tattoo doesn't make you look like an individual.