I never know what the hell I'm writing about, I never know what the next thing I'm writing about is, I never have a plan.

We're all just people, some of us accidentally connected by genetics, a random selection of cells. Nothing more.

Women are beautiful when they're young, and not after. Men can still preserve their sex appeal well into old age.... Some men can maintain, if they embrace it ... cragginess, weary masculinity. Women just get old and fat and wrinkly.

In theater, the playwright is the boss, period. The decisions will go through him or her. In movies, the writer is pretty far down on the list.

Divorce is an embarrassing public admission of defeat.

If you're not entertaining, what the hell's the point?

My last refuge, my books: simple pleasures, like finding wild onions by the side of a road, or requited love.