I've become impossible, holding on to when everything seemed to matter more.

I become irritated when I am being written off as aloof or stand-offish when I'm shy and don't know what to say.

Bowie mattered to me. He reinvented himself so many times - it must have been a daring statement to do that, risking failure. And hanging out with him and seeing him like that - he's my dad's age, born in the same month - when you find someone who's been through a really dark period, which most of his music I care about is from, Low, Lodger, "Heroes" era.... But he came out of it and made something that mattered.

I realized that I was afraid to really, really try something, 100%, because I had never reached true failure.

Any time I sit down and write music, the first part of that is always centering myself and thinking about who I currently am.

People are always saying, 'You're really nice, I thought you were going to be a complete asshole.' I'm getting pretty fed up with it. I just want to say to them, 'Well I could always piss on your head.'

Though I still have no semblance of a life outside of Nine Inch Nails at the moment, I realize my goals have gone from getting a record deal or selling another record to being a better person, more well-rounded, having friends, having a relationship with somebody.