My moral standing is lying down.

Frankly, I have always dreaded writing - there always seemed to be pain involved, unpleasant self-examination and a lot of fear.

I'd never want to be Gene Simmons, an old man who puts on makeup to entertain kids, like a clown going to work.

His perfect kingdom of killing, suffering and pain Demands devotion, atrocities done in his name.

Though I still have no semblance of a life outside of Nine Inch Nails at the moment, I realize my goals have gone from getting a record deal or selling another record to being a better person, more well-rounded, having friends, having a relationship with somebody.

Left to my own devices, in the face of the climate change deniers, the madness and the greed-based decision-making, and propaganda that's been floating around, it's hard not to become pessimistic.

I feel uncomfortable because I'm insecure about who I am.