I can't wait to work for Rick Kaplan. He's a great producer. I would host an infomercial if he would produce it.

We have the - the longest, friendliest border, you know, for the - for the longest time in the history - in recorded history, really, with Canada. And they get to sit on their moral perch, you know, take the moral high ground, say, oh, United States, shame on you about Iraq. They make us look bad internationally. And it's really not fair.

In the absence of evidence, superstition. It's a Middle Ages thing. That's my theory anyway.

I think Canadians, they may be offended that I pointed out that they're stalking us. But at least we're paying attention.

The Clinton era is over. I think that there would even have been a certain amount of rejoicing among some Republicans if Gore had won or if Ralph Nader had won or if Satan had won.

I don't think that [thew are bigots] of [Donald Trump] supporters. Those supporters are from my hometown - I understand that suffering. I have written about it repeatedly from my hometown.

Europeans take their soccer pretty seriously. So, when this Turkish TV host had the nerve to criticize the local team, the fans decided to do something about it, something like storm the TV studio during a live show.