The two things I was positive about in life were that I was going to be a teacher at a boarding school or an operative with the CIA posted abroad. I could write a book about all the things I was sure about.

I try to tell the truth.

There's no suggestion of why people might have voted for [Donald] Trump.

I'm a foot soldier in the war on Christmas. And the war on puppies and sunshine.

I think I always stand up for what I believe in.

Angelina Jolie seems like she cries a lot, which puts me off.

Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That is Canada.