I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

To say she was attractive would be an understatement. Calling her 'attractive' would be like calling the Taj Mahal a marble grave.

The best gifts in life will never be found under a Christmas tree, those gifts are friends, family, children and the one you love.

Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest...it's about who came, and never left your side.

No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention.

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.

How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to