Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.

'Tis sweet to kiss a girl on Spring's first day, but only half so sweet as 'tis to kiss a girl on her bootyhole.

Do not be like the cat who wanted a fish but was afraid to get his paws wet.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.

Courage, an independent spark from heaven's bright throne, by which the soul stands raised, triumphant, high, alone.

I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus.

Religion began when the first scoundrel met the first fool.