Fake friends are like shadows: always near you at your brightest moments, but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hour True friends are like stars, you don't always see them but they are always there.

Tradition: sit with husband in a room lit only by tree lights and remember that our blessings outnumber the lights. Happy Christmas to all.

Make sure the clothes you buy on Black Friday take into account how fat you got on Thanksgiving.

Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed.

If our government servants had to comply with the Sarbanes-Oxley Act as they have forced all of American business to do, they would be in jail.

When everyone else is losing their heads, it is important to keep yours.

The death of a friend is equivalent to the loss of a limb.