Be proud of who you are, and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.

All right, you're a reindeer. Here's your motivation: Your name is Rudolph, you're a freak with a red nose, and no one likes you. Then, one day, Santa picks you and you save Christmas. No, forget that part. We'll improvise. just keep it kind of loosey-goosey. You HATE Christmas! You're gonna steal it. Saving Christmas is a lousy ending, way too commercial. ACTION!

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman.

A good friend knows all your stories. A best friend helped you write them.

If you would inform, a positive and dogmatic manner in advancing your sentiments may provoke contradiction and prevent a candid attention. If you wish information and improvement from the knowledge of others, and yet at the same time express yourself as firmly fixed in your present opinions, modest, sensible men, who do not love disputation, will probably leave you undisturbed in the possession of your error.

Modern houses are so small we've had to train our dog to wag its tail up and down and not sideways.