'Tis sweet to kiss a girl on Spring's first day, but only half so sweet as 'tis to kiss a girl on her bootyhole.

We believe that what matters most is not narrow appeals masquerading as values, but the shared values that show the true face of America; not narrow values that divide us, but the shared values that unite us: family, faith, hard work, opportunity and responsibility for all, so that every child, every adult, every parent, every worker in America has an equal shot at living up to their God-given potential. That is the American dream and the American value.

The heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature.

Well, pull up an ice block and lend an ear. Now you know how Santa uses these flying reindeer to pull his sleigh.

The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus and a chair that's not obtained from Craigslist that keeps poking into his back.

Do not seek perfection in a changing world. Instead, perfect your love.

Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.