I tell myself, as sternly as possible, that is how things work here. We do dangerous things and people die. People die, and we move on to the next dangerous thing. The sooner that lesson sinks in, the better chance I have at surviving initiation.
I wish I could say I felt guilty for what I did. I don't.
If Eric thinks I did something right, I must have done it wrong.
And then the screaming begins.
Be brave, Beatrice. I love you.
Leave her out of this" "Why? Because you're doing her? Oh wait, I forgot. Stiffs don't do that sort of thing