This is what I wanted most to avoid: for my rises and falls to become Tobias's rises and falls. That's why I can't let him step in to defend me now.

I've done without doing things, like sleeping and eating, but I need to write.

And don't pay attention to Christina. Your face doesn't look that bad." He smiles a little. "I mean, it looks good. It always looks good. i mean--you look brave. Dauntless." His eyes skirt mine, and he scratches the back of his head. The silence grows between us. It was a nice thing to say, but he acts like it means more than just words. I hope I am wrong. I could not be attracted to Al-- I could not be attracted to anyone that fragile. I smile as much as my bruised cheek will allow, hoping that will diffuse the tension.

My problem might be that even if I did go home, I wouldn’t belong there, among people who give without thinking and care without trying.

I belong to the people I love, and they belong to me--they, and the love and loyaty I give them, form my identity far more than any word or group ever could.

To find that place between what I want and what I think is wise.

The truth is... you are hurting me. Not on purpose, I know that. But I love you and every second that you don´t love me back...it hurts.