Now, I don't mind making fun of those preachers who steal money from people, they kind of deserve it.

It's in the Bible. God created it. He did not create gay marriage. He created man and woman marriage -- duh!

I've had a lot of struggles and I would be in a lot of trouble, I think, if I wasn't a Christian.

I always wanted to be on a sitcom.

The Ten Commandments have been kicked out of schools. We're killing 37 hundred-something-thousand babies a day. . . . I don't know, 3,700 a day or something like that. A million a day, I don't know. I'm not good with numbers. We're killing lots of babies every day. It's infanticide. Its genocide. We are . . . How can God bless our country, seriously?

I wasn't really qualified to be on Saturday Night Live - I'm not like an impressionist or anything.

I cried when I heard Johnny Carson died.