I am a living soap opera.

The women sit, getting colder and colder, on a seat getting harder and harder, watching oafs, getting muddier and muddier.

When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference.

I have the perfect face for radio.

England is the only civilised country in the world where it is etiquette to fall on the food like a wolf the moment it is served. Elsewhere it is comme il faut to wait until everybody has helped himself to everything and until everything on everybody's plate is stone cold.

Be blind. Be stupid. Be British. Be careful.

... for some of us life always comes C.O.D.