if Saint Bruce doesn't like your poem, he chops your head off.

Mothers are legendary for being able to read the thoughts of their children at just the right moment.

A [reformed] vampire ... mostly tries to make reparation for his previous evil by doing good deeds-most commonly, apparently, going into the crime solving business.

People always talk about good, fresh country air, but I kept getting wiffs of something that was neither good nor fresh but definitely country.

If you don't like vampire games, don't play

There, close enough to spit on--if I'd been a barbarian and inclined to spit--was the dragon.

Then, early, early, early in the morning-just as in countless Disney films-I heard a rooster crow. But guess what? They don't do it just once.