Those Grimm brothers," she said with a sigh, "they'll never amount to anything." And she was right because all they ever became was writers.

She sighed. Loudly. "Physical appearance is not what is important." Yeah right. Tell that to any girl who hasn't bothered to put on a presentable shirt or fix her hair because she's only running into the grocery store to get a quart of milk for her grandmother, and who does she see tending the 7-ITEMS-OR-LESS cash register but the guy of her dreams, except she can't even say hi—much less try to develop a meaningful relationship—since she looks like the poster child for the terminally geeky.

Then, early, early, early in the morning-just as in countless Disney films-I heard a rooster crow. But guess what? They don't do it just once.

If you don't like vampire games, don't play

if Saint Bruce doesn't like your poem, he chops your head off.

People always talk about good, fresh country air, but I kept getting wiffs of something that was neither good nor fresh but definitely country.

Mothers are legendary for being able to read the thoughts of their children at just the right moment.