The secret of being a bore... is to tell everything.

I read only to please myself, and enjoy only what suits my taste.

History is a pack of lies we play on the dead.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

All the ancient histories, as one of our wits say, are just fables that have been agreed upon

If it's too silly to be said, it can always be sung.

Observe that noses were made to wear spectacles; and so we have spectacles. Legs were visibly instituted to be breeched, and we have breeches. Stones were formed to be quarried and to build castles; and My Lord has a very noble castle; the greatest Baron in the province should have the best house; and as pigs were made to be eaten, we eat pork all year round; consequently, those who have asserted all is well talk nonsense; they ought to have said that all is for the best.