I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

All bayonets are bad.

I love my fellow creatures - I do all the good I can - yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!

Spurn not the nobly born with love affected; nor treat with virtuous scorn the well connected.

Bind up their wounds - but look the other way.

I'm really very sorry for you all, but it's an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances.

I always voted at my party's call, and I never thought of thinking for myself at all.