Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.

I thought it was only in revealed religion that a mistranslation improved the sense.

There are few things so pleasant as a picnic eaten in perfect comfort.

Failure make people bitter and cruel. Success improves the character of the man.

It's always difficult to make conversation with a drunk, and there's no denying it, the sober are at a disadvantage with him.

The value of culture is its effect on character. It avails nothing unless it ennobles and strengthens that. Its use is for life. Its aim is not beauty but goodness.

As we grow older we become more conscious of the complexity, incoherence, and unreasonableness of human beings; this indeed is the only excuse that offers for the middle-aged or elderly writer whose thoughts should more properly be turned to graver matters, occupying himself with the trivial concerns of imaginary people.